Alzheimers and I
So Muddy Mare blog was almost called Alzheimers and I. As some of you may or may not know my mother has been fighting Dementia for around 15 plus years. She was diagnosed at an early age and I thought that writing a blog would help me heal but I could not find my voice and every time I started writing something about the illness it didn’t feel right . A good friend of mine Victoria Ford pointed out that it could possibly make me feel too low writing through this vein and she was right. I left the idea of blogging behind but I set up the Muddy Mare page on Instagram. As mums illness has progressed I realised what would help me through the slow and difficult grieving process would be to do something she would be proud of. If she was still my best friend and beloved mum then she would have been cheering me on, shooting down all those who doubted me and most of all be my number one fan. My mum was a proper mumsey mum as I like to say. I am writing this sitting here at 12 pm at night cos I can’t sleep because it was her birthday this week. She was the best mum anyone could ever have asked for. She made amazing cakes, gave amazing hugs and had an aura of love surrounding her. She loved kids and at one point helped out at a local nursery. Four years ago my Dad fell ill with Guillain-barre syndrome (this is another blog post in itself). After learning to walk again he decided to take up riding again even though he was still classed as disabled. After visiting my Dads first show at the RDA. I went home and cried, cried you ask? Well I cried because the children and adults who competed there were full of love and happiness and I know my mum would have been there loving every minute with me. So instead of being victim (but believe me I still have my dark days) I decided to make mum proud and start fundraising for the RDA. For my birthday this year I managed to raise £300 for the local RDA group but I am hoping this is just the beginning of my fundraising story. So I’m going to sign off now as sleep is calling. But I am happy that I have finally been able to write down what I wanted to start all those years ago. But this time not in a negative way or dwelling on my loss as I know mum wouldn’t want that. I have a dream and a goal for my future and would love you to all to be there with me. Watch this space as the fundraising continues to have a positive impact on my life.